I know I said I was okay but I feel like I’m burning up and the stress is kind of just burning a hole in my stomach and I want to scream. Like literally dying just seems so much better than thinking about this shit anymore. I am such an idiot fuck up I shouldn’t be suicidal over this stupid lie of an internship. I don’t want to let this stupid bullshit ruin my weekend with Ren and Jen. Like, I should just do work tomorrow but THAT feels like a mountain. Just chill and do it piece by piece I know I know. But it’s really really hard to -not- see a mountain. To not glance up at it all.
If you have kind words I’d appreciate them. Literally the three things keeping me going right now are the promise of this weekend, talking to Ren, and working on the prompt thekingcarrotflower sent me.

I took my medicine again. This is day three back on it. I’m scared.