unpicasso:

friend: your sense of humor is literally stupid

me: no it’s just Sophisticated like it’s high brow. It’s nuanced

friend: what are you laughing at

me:

eggzaki:

gunass:

TFw your art history tutor phd student mislabels jackson pollock’s number 11 as number one……. im on mobile someone add a pic…. thanks

tastelesssandwiches:

squiddleward:

lawnmower intensifies

tsukinehime:

Bonus:

im so sorry

welcome to my twister mind

baptisms:

right hand blue

themepark:

me: *painting my nails black*

my hotass GF: wow babe I love it ur so sensative

me: thanks, im joining the akatsuki and I can never speak to u again for your safety

cryjerk:

i crave affection!!!!!!! someone please hug me for 3 days straight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Google Chrome, my pathetic lackey, cringing in the doorway: are you sure you want to restore 27 tabs?
Me, leaping up from my gem-encrusted throne: you DARE to question me?!

factsmyguy:

i deadass lost interest in everything. im just cruising on autopilot rn